Terry
The Barber family’s world came crashing down on them on December 11, 2021, when Luke didn’t wake up. Ironically, on that same day, he had been planning to enter a residential treatment program. Things seemed to be turning around for Luke after years of an endless cycle of relapses. At 5:15am Luke texted his mother, Terry, to say, “Mom, I’m going to give this my best shot. I’m going to learn to love myself again.” But by 2:00pm — it was too late.
From an early age, Luke wrestled with ADHD and severe anxiety, and was also later diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. But even his mom and close-knit siblings couldn’t see Luke’s daily battle, which engulfed him in darkness because he was an expert at masking his illness. Luke never met a stranger, and his family and friends were drawn to him by his charisma and wit. He had so much to offer the world… “He would have been the best dad; he would have been the cool uncle.”
To honor Luke’s life, the Barber family hopes that by sharing their story – and the complexities that grieving families face – they can make an impact. They know firsthand that losing a child — or a sibling — to mental illness is unthinkable and paralyzing, and too many other families will bear this tragedy if we don’t act now.
Terry
mom“I will never be the same. To not find answers when you have a child you think you’re losing is terrifying. We did everything we could to help him get better, but there’s not much out there to get him better.”
Jesse
brother“Luke kept his mental illnesses closeted because he was terrified of appearing weak, unmanly. I wish he would have talked more openly with me, but I always tried to show that I loved him.”
Lily
sister“I tried to be a friend, a sister, a distraction. I wanted to the be person that was ‘normal’ for him because everyone only talked about or focused on his illness.”
Ella
sister“It was a lot, being the young age I was. I was mainly focused on helping Luke, and just making sure he would live another day and come home safe.”
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