Nicole

“It’s not your fault. You were the best part of me.” This was the text Nicole Spector received from her oldest son, Greyson, on March 26, 2020, moments before he ended his life by jumping from the 18th floor of a hotel.

Greyson (Grey) Spector appeared to have it all. He was months away from graduating from Duke University and had just been accepted into Duke Law School. Nicole recalls Grey’s excitement when telling her, “I can’t believe I actually get to go there next year.”

As the oldest of four, Grey was a role model to his younger brothers, who deeply adored and admired him. They always followed in his footsteps, whether it was learning an instrument, chess, lacrosse, or active debate. Because Grey did it, they did it.

Despite being brilliant and accomplished, Grey never felt he ‘fit in’ and struggled with feelings of being ‘abnormal.’ Though surrounded by overwhelming love, respect, and support from family and friends, he battled privately with depression and addiction, fighting the emotional rollercoaster inherent to mental illness.

After his death, Grey’s journal revealed the full extent of his inner turmoil and secret substance use. Tragically, due to the intense stigma surrounding mental illness, he felt it was better to take his own life than to face self-imposed shame and disappointment.

Today, the Spector family is determined to turn their pain into purpose. They are passionate supporters of CHAAMP, and hope that by sharing their story, they will both honor Grey and inspire others to give generously.

Before Grey’s passing, Nicole had long supported mental health research and the FOH, but she never imagined her family would one day face the unbearable pain of losing a child — or a sibling — to mental illness. Now, they urgently call for action to prevent other families from enduring the same loss.

Cade

brother

“When I was in preschool, Grey would come home every day after school and teach us what he learned in class. He was loving, dependable, intelligent, and true.”

Sawyer

brother

“I was urged to start a club for suicide prevention. The act that had the greatest person I ever knew, without warning or explanation, jump from the 18th floor.”

Nicole

mom

“I would have done anything to get him the help he needed. I would not have been ashamed. He would not have disappointed me.”

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